Beyond the Behavior: Helping Kids Replace Bullying with Empathy and Resilience

When we talk about bullying, we often think about the child who’s being hurt. But what about the child on the other end of the situation? It can be difficult, even uncomfortable, to look at this side of the issue. Still, understanding why some kids bully is essential if we want to create healthier schools and homes.

Bullying behavior doesn’t mean a child is “bad.” More often, it’s a sign of unmet needs, difficulties with emotional regulation, or struggles they don’t yet have the tools to manage. With the proper support, guidance, and tools, these children can learn better ways to cope, connect, and grow.

Root Causes with Compassion

Children don’t start bullying out of nowhere. Sometimes, the behavior reflects instability at home, feelings of neglect, or a lack of safe and supportive relationships. Other times, it stems from anxiety, stress, or difficulty controlling impulses.

When kids don’t feel supported, they may seek control or attention through harmful behavior. This is where Healthy Relationships become so important—safe, supportive connections can buffer against the urge to act out. With compassion and consistent care, parents and teachers can help children replace harmful behaviors with healthier ones.

Behavior vs. Child

It’s important to separate the child from the behavior. Labeling a child as “a bully” risks turning a moment of poor behavior into a lifelong identity. What they need is guidance, not stigma.

When kids learn emotional regulation skills, they can shift from reacting out of stress to making thoughtful choices. This is Healthy Thinking in action: calmer bodies create space for clearer, kinder decisions.

Supportive Solutions

Supporting children who bully requires a team effort from parents, teachers, and peers. Here are some ways to guide them toward healthier paths:

For Parents 

For Students 

Case Study in Practice

Real families have seen how regulation tools make a difference. In one of our TouchPoints Case Studies, a parent shared that she introduced TouchPoints to her children during moments of emotional overwhelm. With the devices, they were able to settle more quickly and redirect their energy into homework or family activities.

Her family’s story reflects what research confirms: when children learn to regulate stress in the body, they’re better able to manage behavior, bounce back after challenges, and strengthen connections at home and school.

What Research Tells Us

Studies show that children who engage in bullying behaviors often struggle with underlying anxiety, poor emotional regulation, or low social support. For example, this research found that maladaptive emotion regulation strategies were linked to worse outcomes for students facing peer stress. A 2024 study highlighted self-regulation as a protective factor against the negative effects of bullying. Additionally, it also shows in this research that self-regulation skills can buffer the link between bullying victimization and depressive symptoms, underscoring the importance of building these capacities early.

These findings point to the same truth: teaching kids how to regulate their emotions helps them find healthier ways to cope, reducing the likelihood of harmful behaviors. TouchPoints provide a simple, science-backed tool to support this process.

Helping Children Find Healthier Paths

Bullying behaviors can be painful to witness, but they don’t have to define a child’s future. With compassion, structure, and tools for self-regulation, every child has the potential to learn healthier ways of managing stress and conflict.

Through daily practices in Healthy Relationships, Healthy Thinking, and Mindfulness, we can give children the skills they need to choose empathy over aggression and connection over harm.

Explore how TouchPoints™ can support emotional regulation at home and in classrooms, giving children healthier ways to manage stress and build resilience. Shop TouchPoints™ Now